I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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