I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Of course I have a pirate flag
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
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