I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize