i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
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