Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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