just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
