i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
