I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
