i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I am available for nakedness
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
