do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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