just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
