Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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