Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
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