This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
