I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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