I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
