Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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