Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I met the friendliest cop last night
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Watching her eat just hurts me
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
