Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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