ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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