On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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