lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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