he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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