I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
