I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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