Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
