plz talk dirty to me
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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