Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
