That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
me + whiskey = a bad person
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Randomize
