why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
