How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
