i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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