Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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