there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
