In the future we'll all be gay
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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