Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
