OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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