Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
How naked do you want me to be?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
