This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
