so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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