if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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