I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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