R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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