Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
