For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
