please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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