so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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