We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
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Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
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So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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