I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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