Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I think I died a long time ago.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
