If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
