you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
