Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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