Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
