I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
