my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
