The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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