You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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